what the sounds of love are to the head

laughs like secrets small and sweet “of course i do ” knocking on walls, a biosonar for our hearts

dance, spin and swing of the edge of the diving board with large bounds of sugery sweet flattery, icing on a cake of  small smiles and blushes

small gestures of ” I enjoy you ” that speak louder than I can scream and I scream with the fever of  scorned lovers by the millions

Long drawn out screaches of ” don’t be a fool ” and reaching with helping hands that through the pink and red gaze of those very fools look like claws to maim and tear apart something that you have attatched yourself to too the point that to sever you from them would be to cut another peice of thier heart.

I pity those fools and their loud exclamations of ” Mine and mine alone ” and ” for whom my heart belongs”

Because I know, I know one day may we make a mistake or may we simply tire of eachother that one day our love that was once the sweetest of frozen treats will spoil in the burning sun of our passion for one another

I know that may it be thirty days or thirty years one day you will listen to me and curse yourself for not doing so before

with salt stained grimaces you’ll cry ” why” and “what “and I’ll be there to comfort you because in my facts there is comfort in lonliness

Because unlike atoms and compounds no being can truly blong to another before they long for freedom

if history has taught you nothing then it is on your heart that you become jaded not mine

I offered you protection from yourself and like the love you hold you refused to listen to reason.

so it’s on you for hearts a breaking

Dear rock

            Dear rock,

Thank you, Thank you so very much.

Thank you for letting me stand atop you

for you are a vital part stage as I am too you

Thank you for hokding my head above that red sea when I wanted to dive in and bathe myself  with their red fear

I know now that to jump is to drown and to swim is to die

Though to crimson filled eyes the sea looks like a cool chill pond filled with flowering lotuses and pink nymphs to beckon me

in reality it is a swirling hell hole filled not with lotuses but with molten shackles and demonic angels ready to tear me apart because I thought myself justified to do their job.

but it bangs on my skull and dizzys me too the point of insanity untill all I want to see and feel is red

So, thank you, for letting me learn and fall on you like a also red barked limb who fell in the water as well

thank you for being my red stained rock in the middle of my self induced red sea,

thank you for saving me unknowingly when all I wanted to do and see is red

         thank you,

My rock

tears of the sky

Flying over the world I am not of the earth nor the water but my heart longs for both

I am alone but not because I am many yet I feel so few

Once I was your very essence and I still am

you treat me with such ill tempered annoyance that it feels not so

So I cry. I cry so that I may join the world once more and be part of your world

I want to be in the music you compare me too

I want to role down the petals of a lover’s sorrow

I want to grace you streets and have you dance in me with the same grace

I want to meld our tears so we may hide our pain in each other and hide from prying eyes

yet I am glad too

I have felt the flight feathers of joy graze my surface

swing in arches like roman palaces

flocks of colored butter wings

worn leather tapestries telling stories of  generations of colonies and caves

Large gleeful laughs and faces turned up toward me

so while I miss the sea and the world

I am perhaps happy after all with my tear filled skys

blog week # 4 partner novel

Recently Nathaniel made a potentially fatal mistake. In his thirst for a promotion he made a irrational  decision  that could end up winding him in jail, and while I respect his quick thinking and quicker tongue I fear he may have dug himself to deep when he took kitty from the police. I personally think he should have covered his tracks more and looked harder for spies, however assuming that he couldn’t do these things Nathaniel should have had a back up plan in case of interference When the police arrived he should have said something along the lines of ” Why thank you for helping me apprehend my suspect I’ve been watching her for sometime now and was extremely close too capturing her , mere seconds away intact. Though I must inquire as to where you got your information on where she was seeing as I lured her but of course you couldn’t have been spying on me right because you do know stalking an officer is considered not only a possible act of treason but also a invasion of privacy which can have a consequence of 20 years in prison right so if such was the case ( not that I’m saying it is ) I severally hope you have a warrant for this.” But then again I don’t positively know how the chief of police would react so perhaps Nathanial’s way is better not that we’ll ever know.

blog 3-know it all

Dear Eli,

HELP! I’m currently trapped in a tome with my friends ( more like co-workers but you get the point ) I have come to a realization that my friends aren’t what they thought they were. You see Eli my friends and i had a resistance of sorts because in my country most upper class men are magicians and as such they have no regards for us non-magic users, my friends and I had all been wronged by magicians and received no justice because the criminals were magicians. On our biggest raid yet as I watched them dig through the graves and collect magical items i realized we were no better then them, when I saw the greed in the eyes of my companions I was disgusted. Now what do I do ? after this job I don’t think I can stay with them anymore, what should I do ? The magicians need to be stopped irregardless but how do I know do that when I know what my job is really about ?


partner novel post 2 – Connections

dear eli,

In the book I find that as often it is with fantasy books there aren’t many connections to our everyday life, such as they are filled with action and suspense that simply doesn’t occur in real life for instance when bartimaues fought ( more like ran away from ) the golem in the british museum or when kitty and her friends go on high stake mission for their resistance it isn’t at all like our lives but that’s probably why we like it because it is so different.

I think that when kitty ransacks the grave they’ll find something exciting like perhaps kitty has a stronger resilience  than originally theorized, also do you think perhaps jane has a sort of infatuation spell on john? I think she’s trying to get information on bartimaues. What do you think ?

A widened perspective


Photo Credit: Pixmac-com via Compfight cc

Trigger warning : this includes topics such as domestic violence and sexualities that aren’t heterosexual. If this is not something you want to hear about, then scroll away from this post. If you feel you can go through these topics with ease, then I encourage you to read this.

           Did you know that all over America and many other countries sexual harassment is a big problem, yet still it happens everywhere. Many women have reported their co-workers or employers leering, stalking, threatening, touching them in unwanted places and publicly humiliating them with slander. More than 200,000 men and women over the age of twelve have been sexually harassed and or assaulted, Men can be sexually assaulted by people as well, in fact it isn’t uncommon that men are sexually abused, assaulted or harassed however sometimes police will refuse to believe them this often leads to death of the abused. So what can we do right now to both prevent and stop this harassment whether to you or a loved one ? Well if you ever find yourself in a domestically violent situation, download this app. It was created by Robin Mcgraw called aspire news; on the outside it looks like a regular news app, but if you go to the help button, it forwards you to a help center for people in domestic abusive relationships and how to help others you know in that situation. However it all comes down to them helping themselves, you can only do so much, so the best way to help them is to just be there for them and give your support.

Photo Credit: King Grecko via Compfight cc

Another problem regarding equality is discrimination against basically everyone who isn’t heterosexual. Most people don’t even realize  that there are more than three sexualities, but there’s so many different types of sexualities. First things first, you need understand the  difference between a romantic orientation and a sexual orientation. A romantic orientation is who you are romantically inclined to, many people aren’t aware of this and have no idea it even exists which is why many times it causes a inner  turmoil when felt, your romantic orientation  might have nothing to do with your sexual orientation. A man can be heterosexual and still be bi-romantic ( where you could fall in love with someone of either sexes ) he just wouldn’t be attracted to a male’s body. I hope that cleared that vocabulary lesson up  but if you have more questions look here a Wikipedia page I felt to be accurate. There are so many different genders, sexualities and romantics that no body recognizes, too many for me to list ( but here is a actual list of them and other related terms ) so I’ll just tell you a few more common ones. Asexual-the lack of sexual attraction to any gender. Pansexual – the attraction to people of any gender identity. Bisexual-the sexual attraction towards those who are identified as male or female. Agender – the lack of masculinity or feminine feelings and Transexual – feeling as though you were supposed to be born the opposite gender. Well,I hope I widened your perspective.

spades and hearts


RaSeLaSeD – Il Pinguino via Compfight cc

Opposites Attract

Opposites like magnets that can’t stay away but can’t come together completely ,

constantly fighting over needing space and needing to be closer

Opposites like spitting while kissing and hugging and stabbing each other in the back all at once

Because lines are crossed that were never there and we’re bandaging wounds that we created

with knives of insecurity  that dulled themselves in hope of safety

Bite marks that are kissed and bruises caressed , hate and love,

we can’t quite decide which is which and which is the one we feel

No matter , details don’t matter anyway, not when we’re us, not when we hate each other so equally and mutually

that we love each other to death in the most literal way .

Life’s one big game of poker and we’re placing our bets on the spades and hearts.

They might not match but our numbers are good and just maybe our smiling poker faces will cover our glares

  Claws that can be gentle cause’ baby we’re monsters but when I dawn that shining armor I can look like your knight .

Opposites attract that much we know .





When I looked up myself online I found something positive , I have no digital footprint . I have never took a picture of myself on the internet ( well there’s one that has my face in it but that’s under a alias ) and I have fake names for all my accounts . Everything and all things I post don’t have my name in them . I also Did the ghostery challenge and found no suspicious sites following me , however only one  was consistent which when I dug up a little information on was a social media tracker that most social sites like tumblr had to see what was trending , so I’m pleased to say I’m printless .